The Flood Gates

I try to hold the gates closed as cracks appear leaking pain. I paint over them with a smile and pretend there is no flood. I see the sky with dark clouds overflowing with grief ready to overpower me, tears begin to leak through as my dam begins to break and I run for the raft I had waiting but find it is gone or was never really there. 

The rush of my fears and agony come crashing upon me and sweep me away. I pray for death as the ache in my life is released flooding the crumbling gates of my heart. I scream for a lifeboat and people look on in scorn asking why I just can't swim. The disgust in their eyes brings the rains from the clouds and I am buried in hopeless thoughts. All I can do is allow the current to take me along it's decaying tide of suffocation. 

It would have only taken one hand to pull me from flux of suicidal thoughts. But now I stand on this ledge alone wanting the end of it all. The thought of this brings a release and I can start to breathe. I know it will not last long before the lock breaks again so I look out on the world of everything I will miss and let myself grieve for the hope and all that was taken from me and jump.